I Miss You

Nov. 2, 2010 | BOREDOM STRIKES
Pretty much to say, "Sembreak ba yon? Akala ko long weekends lang."
I was just writing this short poem about how I miss you.
Crazy, isn't it? Impromptu poem.
"Nothing but just a waste of time.", you might just say.
Well, whatever it is...
Here it goes...

_________________________________________________________________

I MISS YOU

4 months felt like 4 years.

All days were flooded by tears.

Longing that somehow you're with me,

Like those times we used to be.

It seems that you're so numb;

And I'm just nothing but dumb.

Looking for some other light,

Amidst the darkness of the night.

Still, you're the one occupying,

This space in my heart beating.

Fly and go across the seas,

But please don't forget... PLEASE?

I know in my heart,

A part of you still remains;

Remains forever constant part;

'Cause YOU, no one can compare.

_________________________________________________________________

See?

Actually this one's included on a letter.

Silly, I was just planning to say hi and know how are you doin'.

Maybe, I'm still that emo kiddo we're talking about whose habits include writing poems.

Okay, I hope you will like this.
I made it so fast so it's really short.

I'll give it to you when we see each other again.

Forever 16

Sana araw-araw laging 16 na lang... OCTOBER 16. :)

Saturday. Last day of Final Examination. I took Microbiology and Parasitology exam.
*sigh*

He didn't take the exam today because his payments aren't settled yet.
Probably by next week, he'll take special examination for Micro-ParaMORE. LOL.

Today is also DOTA day.
Utol, Arjay, Kevin and him played DOTA after our examination.

MEETING PLACE:

Puregold Cainta.

VENUE:

Computer shop near ICCT Main Campus

WHAT DID I DO WHEN THEY'RE PLAYING?
Oh well, it was one hell of a time with Facebook, YouTube, Plurk and Blogger.

I watch WOTL.
So freaking funny!

Sobrang ingay talaga ng boys maglaro!
Amp! haha.
Natatawa na lang ako.
I can see on their faces naman na nag-eenjoy sila that moment.
Mas lalong nagpayabangan sa kanilang galing sa paghawak ng mga preferred nilang DOTA Heroes.

But then, habang napapasarap sila sa paglalaro....

*BOOM!*

POWER SHUTDOWN.

Ecstatic.
Sa loob-loob ko lang, sa wakas natapos din!
HOHO.
Natawa talaga ako.
Ganyan yung mga eksena para maawat sila.
Kung sinasaway na siguro sila ng mga nanay nila, huhugutin sa saksakan.

Okay. Naawat din.
Pero di pa rin tumigil sa kwentuhan sa naganap na laro.
Nakakatuwa talaga.
Kahit OP ako, di nila alam sila ang OP sa isipan ko.

After: EAT EAT FISHBALLS, CHICKEN BALLS, KIKIAM, and HOTDOGS.
YUM YUM! Sige kain lang, masarap kasi may Hepa A. LOL.

The rain is pouring so hard.

We can't get out of that dark place. Haha! Dark place pa talaga.

I thought bagyo na yon. Di pa pala.

Baha na sa labas! Darniiit.

All we have to do is call a pedicab or tricycle.

Okay. Dahil si tanging babae ako, di na ko nakatiis.

Kuha ang payong, lusob sa ulan, tawid sa mga platforms...
"Manong pasakay!"

Then manong pedicab responds to my call and offers his pedicab.
Akala ko ako lang ang sasakay.
I didn't expect that he'd be the one to ride with me on the pedicab.
Uyyy... kilig!

Dull moments.
Silly.

RCBC na kami bumaba.

Pinasundo namin yung tatlo.

Kaso naglakad na pala! Tumila na kasi ulan eh.

So sa loob na lang daw magkita.

Oh edi masaya na naman ang lola n'yo nang bonggang-bongga!

Gumala.
Tingin-tingin.
I changed my clothes na rin which took me about 15 min?
Babae talaga... tsk tsk!

After that, we meet with others in Folded and Hung.

UWIAN NA PALA?

Eh nagugutom kaming dalawa.

So we decided to stay, sila umuwi na.

Uyy... date na talaga ito!

ASA! *hahaha*

KFC or TOKYO TOKYO?

Di makapagisip ang LOLO n'yo...

Sabi n'ya Tokyo na lang daw.

Pero napansin walang Spicy Tuna Rolls.

Deym.

So lipat kami sa ROBINSONS.

On the way, naisip n'ya... TERIYAKI BOY na lang daw!

Sabi ko, "Where?"
Sa SM Marikina daw...
"Meron ba don?"
Meron daw... Nalito na ko.
Pagdating sa SM.
Oh man!
Mahal don...
Karate Kid nga pala yung sinasabi ko sa kanya dati.
Nalito na talaga ako.

Kinauwian pa rin namin Tokyo Tokyo.
Pero sana nag-RAMEN na lang kami sa TERIYAKI BOY.

*BUSOG* Busog-tuta na naman si Jamille.

Heto pa,

Napangiti na naman ako.

Uwian na daw kasi may practice pa raw sila sa church.

So sige, "Bye bye, ingat ka.", sabi namin sa isa't-isa.

Tapos sige lakad na ko palabas.

Nang malapit na ko sa may overpass, biglang may tumawag sa akin.

"Jam! Jam! Jam!"

S'YA. S'ya pala!

Uyy... hinabol ako nang bonggang-bongga!

Kilig na naman!

So gumala na lang kami...
Tumingin kami first sa Watsons.
He wants to buy Facial Scrub.

Then, uber gala talaga.

Tapos sa Dept. Store may nakitang...

*1st BOOM*

GLEE SHIRTS!

WOW! I love them all! Pati s'ya

*2nd BOOM*

WALK SHORTS!

Gustong-gusto na n'ya!

Ayon, ipinili n'ya ko. :)

"Music is my life.", yung pinili n'ya.

CUTE! Ganda-ganda! Kaya naman s'ya yung laging gusto kong kasama 'pag bibili ng damit eh.

^_^

Nauwi s'ya sa pagbili ng L'oreal Charcoal Facial Scrub!

Chuchal!

Sabi ko, "Nagpapagwapo talaga ah!"

Sabi n'ya. "S'yempre naman!"

Sabi ko ulit, "Wag na, di mo na kailangan. Gwapo ka na eh!"

HAHAHAHAHA.
Gugulong ako sa kakatawa.
Bumanat talaga.
Pero totoo naman ah.

Sabi ko pa, "Ikaw na rin may sabi non na makuntento ka na kung ano yung meron ka."
Kasi sabi naman n'ya na, "Di mo na kailangan magpaputi pa."

:) Sweeeeeeeeet talaga.

Masaya ko talaga ngayong araw na 'to!
So happy!
Sha-la-la-la!
It's so nice to be happy!

E61B6135-DAF2-A770-51BC-A868D970BBFE

1.03.01

5 Months and 3 Months

NP: 6 Months by Hey Monday

You're the direction I follow to get home
When I feel like I can't go on you tell me to go
And it's like I can't feel a thing without you around
Don't mind me if I get weak in the knees
cause you have that effect on me, you do
Everything you say
Every time we kiss I can't think straight, but I'm okay
And I can't think of anybody else who I hate to miss as much as I hate missing you

Months going strong now, and no goodbye
Unconditional, unoriginal
Always by my side
Meant to be together
Meant for no one but each other
You love me, I love you harder so

Everything you say
Every time we kiss I can't think straight, but I'm okay
And I can't think of anybody else who I hate to miss as much as I hate missing you

So please, give me your hands
So please, give me a lesson on how to steal, steal the heart
As fast as you stole mine, as you stole mine

Oh and everything you say
Every time we kiss, I can't think straight
But I'm okay
And I can't think of anybody else
Who I hate to miss as much as I hate missing you

So please, give me your hands
So please, just take my hand.

 ________________________________________________________________

February - The Month of Lies and Betrayal. I'm so sorry, Valentines Day.

5 Months - May to October

May 10 : Unofficial/Cool off ; The conflict was just between of us. But still lingering in sweetness and never-ending don't-leave-me lines to each other.

3 Months - July to October

July : His issue was revealed and everything between us was put to an end. It's over.

July : The worst month ever!

1 Year & 2 Months - We should be now if none of what he did existed. =(

Engaged Temper

It's all in my head. It's all in my head AGAIN.

*Pfft*

It's Twinsister's birthday today. I greeted her. He greeted her also.

I came early for our HB class for the long quiz. Well, it turned out to be okay. I got 70 out of 100. After-which, I checked his paper and he got 62, that's okay, too. I don't want to elaborate much more with what we did in that class because much of them were about the final examination. Much has been said, he asked me if we're going to eat during our 1-hour break. And I said, "Yes." We went and took our lunch. YUM! (It made my tummy rumble this time.) It's time for our next class so we rushed ahead of time. CM class is on fire! We had our long quiz, too. Darn. This time, again, I checked his paper and he got 32? I can't remember. Oh well, enough with this long story.

It's time for the story proper. After classes, I remembered what we should be doing. The one which we should be submitting in the office is agdjaguhgcjkgjdg!!! Holy mackerol. Just then, I'm asking him if he could help me with that thing. And that I have to produce 1x1 ID picture. But he keeps on like on my mind, Anhirap i-spelling-in ng taong `to di pa sabihing ayaw n'ya edi ayaw... And he also said, Magluluto pa pala ako ng munggo." A sign he's telling that he doesn't like to be with me. Uwing-uwi na baga. So we just stay for a while on the Art and Photography Competition desk. So I went like thinking and thinking, "It's all in my head. It's all in my head again." Here we go again. My temper starts to boil for an average of 38 degree Celsius. It's not that over, yunno. Control was there yet. So I guess, I don't have to talk that time, *GREAT SILENCE* or else... I might turn into a ferocious beast. Just then, he asked me, "Sasamahan pa ba kita sa Sta. Lu.?" I blurted out, "Don ka na lang sumakay, ako na nga bahala eh." SILENCE filled again the whole trip down to that famous-to-all mall. I glanced back in a while to see his face if there's any changes compared to that of when we're still in school. I hate that look he gave me!!!

Inside the mall, he thought of switching to Rob, so we went there. My temper starts to normalize. At the photoshop, we dropped by and just scanned my photo and waited for 30 minutes. This 30-minute of waiting was consumed in a bookstore. MANGA! Oh my... I want to draw anime also! We had this chance to peek on a HOW TO DRAW ANIME book. And guess what? His eyes shined like I'd never seen before. He wants to learn how to draw anime eyes. =))

After reminsicing those books, we go gala and gala around. We went upstairs and there's the Victory Church and... TIMEZONE - the place which we used to play Guitar Hero and Resident Evil when we're still US. I miss that place. Oh, I don't want to remember those happy days with him so went downstairs.

Finally, my photos were finished. "Nagugutom ako!!!" We went to Sta. Lucia again and picked a place where we can eat. His aura this time was changed. Bigla s`yang bumait. We grew tired of eating in Hawkers so we think of somewhere else. It was then that I missed pizza very much. LOTZ'A PIZZA! :)) Yipee! I do remember that place. Our favorite place to eat pizza together. And so as, it's Twinsis' birthday, we kinda celebrated it also. Oh, how I love PIZZA super! BACON BLAZE! YUMMY!

After eating, we walked around at WELLCOM. We saw cute and great phones. HAHA! There we go again with our wildest imaginations. Gusto ko yan lahat. One-day millionaire lang, bibilhin ko na `yan! I missed my iPod so much... *sigh*

I remembered that I had my laptop that time. We watched videos and laughed through and through. How I really love when he's smiling and laughing. Lalo tuloy akong naiinlove. LOL. When the battery went low, it's time to go go.

He accompanied me on the sakayan. Just then, he asked me for a 10php and thanked me for the pizza. I responded only with a smile. I became so speechless again. My weakness stroke through. Nagbago talaga aura n`ya bigla... nakakatawa. He didn't want to come but he ended up being nice to me.

Minsan ayoko na rin maging masyadong mabait sa kanya pero bakit ko pa rin ipinagpapatuloy?
Eh kasi mahal ko...
Ang gusto ko lang naman maging masaya s'ya pag kasama n`ya ko.
Ayoko na masama ang tingin n`ya sa akin. Galit. Ganon.

Kelan ba talaga ako magsasawa sa kanya?

A Fearful Nympholepsy

Here’s a piece of advice – "Let go when you’re hurting too much, give up when love isn’t enough, and move on when things aren’t like before. Surely there is someone out there who will love you more."

        I thought that would be easy to do. It's really difficult with what's left in my heart that stands much stronger and more longer. The thing that was left is my love. The love which I can't explain but a wonderful feeling that still lingers on. Moving on is kinda hard to reach. What a fearful nympholepsy! The only thing I know is that I'm subjected to love you. Every now and then, I think of you always: hot or cold, day and night, sunny or rainy and in happiness or even sadness. Sometimes, I see myself being violent in thoughts that I could imagine you being yanked up by me, then thrown into a large pool surrounded by hungry sharks. Morbid, ain't I? Conveying thoughts can be easy but so far, it's unfathomable. You can be whatever you want to be when you interact with me. I don't bite. I just love the way you are and if you'll change into something more negative, then there's no way I'll let you do that. You can be mean and ignorant at me many times. As far as I know, whatever you say and do will not affect and change my attitude towards love in you. I really do not know why I care for you and mostly love you. No words can express how much you mean to me. You are a blessing from above. Thank God I found someone like you in my life. I don't mind what you did to me but as long as my love lingers, I will be staying in love with you. Even if you ask first for just bestfriends, closefriends, specialfriends and siblings, no problem as long as you stay with me... I'll be so much happy. I'll carry on, I know the Lord is helping me lifting my burdens now - especially the pain that I felt, feel, and will feel. Remember everything I said. Remember all those memories we shared. Remember those keepsakes I gave you...

And please...

"Remember me always...

Don't forget."



"If I let you love me, be the one adored."

Teenage Drama Queen

NP: Superhuman by Chris Brown ft. Keri Hilson

In that case, I will be recognized as an Oscar's Awardee for being a Teenage Drama Queen. I'm starting to be melodramatic again. Well, as the title goes, you just can't say it's inappropriate. I'm still in the TEEN ages. It's one hell of a time again that I miss him more and more everyday. It's like I'm living a teenage dream: "I finally found you. My missing puzzle piece. I'm complete." I'm going gaga again with what I'm feeling. Why is that when a guy courts a gal and this gal accepts it, then eventually the guy just falls out of love and leaves the gal in the first place? The gal stays loving even more despite of the pain she's going through.

"Weak I had been crying and crying for weeks. How'd I survive when I could barely speak? Barely eat, on my knees." I can't even deny that I'm still crying all over again. And that, even I hate emo, I just let myself being such. Why do I still continue loving and caring for him? I might be called as pathetic and martyr or whatsoever you would call me.
__________________________________

Can I just walk away and never look back?
Can I just forget easily what's then before the two of us?
Oh, how I wish to run away and get my diploma right ahead of time so that you can't see me anymore...

And that you can't be irritated of me anymore.
It just hurts me like I'm nothing for you.
Oh, how I wish I could turn back time and fix everything right in order that it's as if we didn't let the chance to be in each others' arms.

How I wish we ended up being strangers again like we used to in the past.
But how can I?
Every time I see you...
And every time you do good things to others and even to me, my love grows much stronger than before.

Just the simple you...
Whatever looks you have and clothes you wear...
I just can't explain why does my love stays and clings like as if there's still hope to get back what had been before...

And I love how I get mad at you,
I don't know...

It brings me much more love after seeing myself so dumb to realize what I've done is wrong and that I care for you so much and that I can't even let myself not to talk to you after the fight.

It gives me so much pain ignoring you.

Another is how funny that you get mad back at me.
I remember that when a person who gets mad at you, this person loves you and cares for you.
__________________________________

I'm not saying that I want to be his girl again or whatsoever you think about.
It's all in the hands of God.
__________________________________

"Whatever it takes or how my heart breaks, I will be right here waiting for you."
Just REMEMBER that song.
I need to work more with my studies, that's what I'll do today.
So that when you and I are ready according to God's plan, everything's in order.
Or if not, may God find someone that will love you and care for you more than I do.

YOU, MY FAMILY and JESUS are my INSPIRATION.

Thank you for being a true blessing to me!
Continue making me more proud of you.
This time let me say this to you, okay?










"I LOVE YOU SO MUCH."

It may not be forever but as long as I'm alive.